Anything Goes

Hi, my name is Robert Otlowski, and this is my blog. Most entries will be posted on MySpace and on my personal website http://otlowski.com/. There are no rules here - I may write about poetry, current events, your sex life, the most minute, boring details of my own daily life, the philosophy of space and time, how to make a nuclear bomb (likely to be my last blog entry for a while), or the latest asshole running for political office (even if said asshole is me). Some entries may be entirely fictional or designed entirely in an effort to make one person happy or offend the general public. In short, anything goes. I can and will violate the laws of any country, common sense, decency, the agreement I clicked "yes" to when I signed up for this site and / or access to the internet, and even the laws of nature if they need it. On the other hand, I'm a pretty nice guy and I don't often find such things necessary (at least, no complaints as of yet :). I can't make any promises about my blog not being censored because I don't control the interwebs, but hey, when it really comes down to it nobody controls anything, except maybe themselves (and even in that case there is a great deal of debate on the matter).

Like most people I've been bored my whole life. A witty remark, a good joke, something wonderful I've created with my own two hands, the smiling face of a friend - a pretty girl - a kind old gentleman or lady, a work of art, playing a fun video game or having a challenging competition - these are the kind of things I live for. Sadly, these things are far more rare than the ones most people spend their life pursuing - money, fame, security, power, knowledge, wisdom, sex, success, longevity, and so on. Of those I'm forced to admit sex makes a lot more sense than the others. If I winked into existence for one day and spent that day laughing with a stranger or watching the sunset with a pretty girl I would die a completely happy man. Two days, even better, might need some sunscreen though.

I've never done a daily blog before, and the reason is simple - I felt I had to write something useful or, failing that, at least document my life. Fuck that. My life is pretty damn boring. Which isn't to say I won't write about it here if I feel like it, I'm just not going to make it a rule to subject myself to recounting it. I also totally lack sufficient energy and discipline to always write something useful at the end of the day - if anything I prefer to carry on about nothing, kind of like this.

Like most people I spend a ridiculous % of my time working and another ridiculous % sleeping. The main reason I sleep, besides being tired, is so I don't fall asleep during work. No rest for the wicked. That leaves about 5 hours or less each weekday almost all of which go to waste through mundane conversations, failed attempts to relax, feeling sorry for myself or others when in fact we're all quite fortunate, and various mediocre forms of entertainment like writing blog entries. And the real tragedy of it is that it's all completely avoidable. As Patricia's character from the 1990 film Joe vs. the Volcano said:

"...almost the whole world's asleep. Everybody you know, everybody you see, everybody you talk to ... only a few people are awake. And they live in a state of constant total amazement."

Well folks, I'm awake. I just don't always like what I see. A good friend of mine, who I will honor by making him the first person I mention by name in my blog, Chris Ziemba, once said "The mind is a limitation - only when you have lost it can you truly be free." Call me a crackpot philosopher if you like but personally I think truer words have never been spoken. If I was just a little bit crazier I would be quite happy, or quite sad, or at least crazy enough to give up on stupid things like money and spend my time on something that really matters. As it is I'm working 9 hours (11+ really, you just don't get paid you for getting ready for work, lunch, travel, etc.) trying to contribute to something and saving enough money to buy a house and pay the absurd taxes that everyone who's too chicken shit to play hide and seek with the IRS puts up with. Do I like my job and my co-workers? Of course, or I'd quit. Does that mean I wouldn't rather be playing video games or planting crops sometimes? Hell no. On the other hand, a simpler or more leisurely life can get you into a lot more trouble and be even more desolate.

I often find people who write blogs like this think themselves terribly important, or at least interesting. I'm neither, just a little bored. If I ceased to exist a few people would be sad, perhaps even to the end of their lives, but that's it. No butterfly effect that I can foresee, no state funeral, nothing. Does that make me sad when I think about it? Not really, because the happiest people I know aren't remotely important or even terribly interesting by conventional definitions. I'm just not one of them, though I'm not ruling out bias in that regard.

Speaking of sex, I just watched a movie called Idiocracy. The short short version is: some Army librarian accidentally gets put into cryo-freeze for 500 years and when he wakes up the world is going to hell in a hand basket because stupid people have been breeding idiots for centuries while smart people read books, argue, and generally go extinct. It wasn't really that great a movie but the message is solid: smart people should have more sex, I mean, kids. So get smart, get married, and start making babies people! Coincidentally I'm available, I'm no genius but I'm smarter than the average bear ;).

I caught 15 seconds of the Democratic National Convention which was fourteen point nine repeating seconds too many. I'm hoping to miss the Republican Convention entirely but they do have a nasty tendency to put them on TVs in semi-public places like my gym. My politics are the worst kind - arm-chair, idealistic, simple, and not Democrat or Republican. I'm sure this will offend some of the people that don't despise me but if you apply simple logic (it's not just for Vulcans!) you might conclude, as I have, that you can't really represent anyone with two political parties. And that's if you even think political parties are a good idea, which I would argue they are not. We could go on all day about the perpetuation of the two party system and who to blame but since this is a one way talk I will simply say that when I do vote it's usually for a bad reason or an inflatable whale named Arthur Galpin (I was his lawyer once).

I'm off to bed now, not necessarily to sleep, but off to bed all the same. Have a good night, and may you dream happily of that which matters most.

View | POSTED BY Robert Otlowski ON August 27, 2008 @ 7:05 pm MST

Detroit Pub Crawl

I went pub crawling (more of a weaving really) last night with some cool friends from work & company. We went to one casino and three bars (I think) as follows:

Greektown Casino: I don't gamble much and I didn't get anything to drink here so I'll just say it was a nice place and I got carded which means I'm still young :).

The Detroiter: Cool bar with good food and an interesting clientele but my drinks were terrible and very expensive.

Harbor House: This place was awesome. The service wasn't very fast but the waitress was nice, the drinks were great, and they were definitely cheaper than the Detroiter. Not too crowded and a good atmosphere too.

Detroit Beer Company: Having beer in the name I felt obligated to order beer which was probably a mistake. Since I don't really like beer and I ordered a strong one that didn't taste very good I won't say anymore.

Overall I would have to say it was very good times. Thank God the friend I carpooled with was willing to drive my car on the way home 'cuz some bartenders took my request for extra strong screwdrivers more seriously than usual. I probably would have had to hang around the casino for a while to sober up which would have been fine if I hadn't carpooled (but obviously I did).

View | POSTED BY Robert Otlowski ON August 24, 2008 @ 9:26 am MST

Nope

And that would be a no (in reference to the question: Is there anyone worse than me on our Wallyball team?). Still, it's not a very hard game, I just need to get used to handling a volleyball in a racquetball court. Unfortunately I think I'm only going to get one more "practice" (a scrimmage actually) before the season starts :(.

So, I've got these friends. Or at least I consider them friends, I've always found it hard to tell if someone reciprocates and as you no doubt know one person's idea of a friend can vary greatly from another's. There were some betrayals, I won't go into detail, and now friend 1 hates friend 2, friend 2 hates friend 3, and well, you get the idea. It's really sad and though I certainly didn't betray anyone I still feel terrible that they're most likely never going to be in the same room again, much less have fun together. It is truly a crappy world we live in. Despair.

Speaking of fun, not counting a visit to an optometrist (woot~) and some lifting I'm mostly going to be reading The Brothers Karamazov this weekend. Don't get me wrong, I love reading, and I've been meaning to read this book for a long time, but spending your whole weekend reading when you're bored as sin isn't exactly my idea of a good time. Still, it's like I always say, one is ultimately responsible for one's own entertainment.

View | POSTED BY Robert Otlowski ON August 22, 2008 @ 4:48 pm MST

Creepy

List of people who haven't responded to a message from me recently: Mathian and August. Ok, so that's only 2 people, but still. I'm off to work followed closely by Wallyball practice. I guess we'll see if there's anyone worse on the team or not :\.

View | POSTED BY Robert Otlowski ON August 20, 2008 @ 2:53 am MST

The District of Columbia

It may just be the second season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer talking but I'm seriously stoked about next month's DC trip with Charles, Chris, Sam, Nicole, Josh, Ben, Tyler, Brian, and Aaron. That's like 10 smart people in our nation's capital - that's gotta be a first.

May not be the best thing that ever happened to my liver though.

On the other hand, pretty much anything would be exciting compared to this weekend. One is ultimately responsible for making one's own fun and I often do my best but having nowhere to hang out and no one to hang out with doesn't exactly make things easy. I should probably get a dog or other needy pet to take care of. But what I really want is a cat, which just goes to show you my mildly self-destructive nature.

View | POSTED BY Robert Otlowski ON August 17, 2008 @ 1:42 pm MST

Hair of the Dogless

Happy birthday to everyone whose birthday it is!

I think I'm developing a financially unhealthy tolerance for vodka. I had four double Screwdrivers this evening without so much as a buzz and now I'm stone cold sober without even a hint of a headache (true, I haven't had a hangover in a long time even after drinking a lot more than that, but still - I usually at least feel slightly crappy or a little tired). I can't complain about the lack of hangovers but the lack of getting even a little drunk is a bit scary. I learned the hard way not to drink really fast in college so drinking a lot over a slightly less than reasonable amount of time is the only option and it's not working.

Just for the record I've never had a hair of the dog - I'm sure they work wonders :\ but hangovers are the one thing I'm not prepared to drink to (besides taxes). Health considerations aside the psychological benefits of a hangover should one be unlucky enough to have one are obvious. Also, I can count the number of times I've been drinking in the last year on one hand so don't give me any grief over the vodka blogging here.

Speaking of drinking, work is going well. Lots of work to be done, lots of work getting done, what more can you ask for? I should be able to buy a house in no time. What I will ultimately do with a house is unclear but at least I'll have a large designated place to invite people to play video games with me at. Whether anyone accepts said invitation(s) is another matter :(.

Still, when the only thing you have to complain about is a lack of hangovers you're doing pretty well :).

View | POSTED BY Robert Otlowski ON August 14, 2008 @ 11:47 pm MST

Can Someone Turn Down the Suck?

Woke up late (again). Left ankle hurts from excessive limping. I'm going to have to go in to work on my off Friday. Hey maybe I can get my recently fixed car into an accident and get food poisoning from Subway at lunch!

View | POSTED BY Robert Otlowski ON August 13, 2008 @ 4:14 am MST

Worst... Day... Ever

Woke up late, tired, got into a shouting match. Had to ride my bike to work because my car was undergoing $300 worth of repairs. I was an hour and forty-five minutes late. Ate too much for lunch because I was starving. Left work at the normal time so I'm going to have to play catch up tomorrow. Threw the chain on my bike on the way home and had to walk 2 miles in dress shoes. Lost a few square inches of skin on my left foot to blisters. Had an extremely unhealthy dinner. Sucked at my position during yacht racing and we're most likely being disqualified for following the wrong course.

Maybe tomorrow will be better. Except for the whole getting my bike repaired, limping along on one foot, and working 12.5 hours thing. And that's assuming I actually get to work at 6:30am.

View | POSTED BY Robert Otlowski ON August 12, 2008 @ 7:02 pm MST